Direction (Sequel to Control)
by marmarpenn
Summary: As life goes on I try to weigh my biggest problems. The fact my nightmares are not going away. The fact my sister is about to get married. The fact my phsycotic father has escaped prison. Once all this is over, part of me wonders what direction I will be going. Well if I survive at all. Sequel to Control. Don't own YJ.
1. Chapter 1

**Palo Alto**

**May 1**

**7:33 a.m.**

I'd had the dream before, and still it was as horrible as always.

I'm watching the arrow fly into Blaze's brain. Lian drops. Jade dives forward to catch her. But Then they both disappear. Blaze doesn't fall to the ground like he should instead he steps forward and hit's the crossbow out of my hand in fury. It clatter's to the ground. I can't move, I'm too stunned to move, too afraid. He grabs my neck with what feel's like inhuman strength and lifts me off the ground.

"You kill me," he grinned, "I kill you. True love right."

I'm struggling clawing at his arms to the point where I draw blood. I never loved him, yet he seemed to have this undying obsession with me. An obsessions that I feel goes on through his death.

"Want more blood on your hand's eh," my father's voice is there but I couldn't see them.

I've realized I'm dying I can't breath my vision is fading. But I just won't fade. I keep hearing Blaze's evil and sick cackle that runs through me like knives.

"Amber!" someone was shaking me, "Amber wake up!"

I wake up, I'm gasping for breath and someone has me by the shoulders, "Amber it's a nightmare!"

The voice is Wally's. My sister's faience. I guy who's like an older brother to me over the past few months.

He along with my sister have been the ones to wake me up from my constant nightmares. They always have questions, I don't tell them. I don't tell anyone except Canary, but even her I'm wary about information.

After a few minutes of gathering my surroundings, I'd stopped gasping and took deep breaths as someone kept a hand on one of my shoulders.

"You ok?" Wally asked.

"S..sorry," I stuttered out my voice dry. I must have been screaming.

"It's ok," Wally said, "That's one of the worse one's you've had in awhile."

That's not true, that's the most I've screamed in awhile.

"Yeah," I muttered, "You can go to bed now, I've bothered you and Artemis enough lately."

"It's morning Amber," Wally chuckled, "Artemis is making pancakes, get ready for school."

He squeezed my shoulder one last time before disappearing out of my room. I sighed and swung out of bed looking at myself in the mirror. Long blond hair, my tips were dyed a bright red (After weeks of Cass begging me to dye her hair with her). My eyes, which were green like my mothers looked tired and dull. And I now had to put on concealer to hide the dark bags which hid under. I got into my Gotham academy uniform. I swore it made me look like a stuck up bitch in my opinion. But then again it made my boyfriend look like a rich asshole (which is sort of how he act's most of the time anyway). I tied on my converse and made my way out into the kitchen.

"You sleep well?" Artemis asked. I didn't answer instead I sat at my usual spot at our counter. Artemis sighed and grabbed my chin looking at me into the eyes.

"There getting worse aren't they?"

I know she's talking about my nightmares, as the day's go by, Artemis tries and tries to talk about my dreams with me. I'm constantly turning her down or ignoring her, or making excuses.

"There fine Artemis," I said, "I'll just go to Therapy with Canary and eventually they'll stop."

"Did Canary stop," Wally asked putting down a plate of pancakes in front of me, "Or is that you want to happen."

"Hey," I shrugged between wolfish bites of pancakes, "You guys have always told me stuff about believing his the first step to be possible."

"Wow, " Wally said, "I can't even respond to that."

I snorted, "Welcome to parenthood. I need to get to school," I grab my backpack and slide out the door. Starting my walk to the nearest Zeta beam.

You take the bus to school. I take a freaking zeta-beam.

**Gotham**

**May 1**

**8:33 am**

Tim was waiting for me at the zeta beam when I get there. He immediately puts his arm around me and kisses my forehead lightly, "You look exhausted."

"Yeah," I said, "My sister's getting married in three weeks, and apparently even though Jade's the maid of honor. I'm expected to do the work." Well it wasn't a total lie.

Tim chuckled than got a look at me and frowned, he could tell I wasn't telling the whole truth. After a few moments of staring "Try sleeping pills?"

"What?" I asked.

"Are you on sleeping pills?"

"Yeah why?" I asked, "My doctor prescribed them."

"Well most doctors don't go through trauma," Tim said, "The sleeping pills made my nightmares worse. Don't take them."

I nodded, Tim didn't press on instead he asked me more things about the wedding and Lian. He was good about that. I honestly didn't know how much Tim new about trauma and nightmares and all the things I go through until I actually went threw trauma.

When we get to school. Our other friends are waiting. Yeah you heard us right. Me and Tim made other friends. Well not really. Beast Boy ended up enrolling in our school. He has to wear a charm from Zatanna to make him look normal fourteen year old boy. Then Bart ended up starting coming here after he got kicked out of his old school in Central City. Barry (Flash) called up Wally who asked me to keep Bart out of trouble.

Garfield was the first person I saw. Somehow with the charm-he was still unbearably disorganized. Zatanna said something to me about it reflecting his personality in a way. I didn't quite understand it thought.

"Where's Bart?" Tim asked.

"Detention," Garfield said rolling his now amber colored eyes, "He got an F on his chemistry quiz."

"Damnit," I cursed under my breath as I used my free hand to run my hand through my hair.

"Why are you angry about it?" Garfield said. Looking a little humored at my little outburst.

"Well Wally's going to make me study with him," I said, "Do you know how hard it is to study with Bart. He has the attention span of a fly."

"I have an attention span of a what?"

I turned around to look at my red haired friend who has a lopsided grin planted on his face. My fist's ball up a little, "I thought you had detention?"

"Well Ms. Barnes fell asleep…sooo I kind of excused myself," he grinned.

"Bart!" I snapped and swung to hit him in the shoulder he quickly side stepped, "You need to get your grades up or you wont pass Sophomore year! Then you'll be held back."

"That wont necessary be a bad thing?" Garfield piped up, "Then he can graduate with me."

"Garfield," I said turning towards him with a glare, "Not helping."

"Ok mother," he said mockingly, "I'll work to get my grades up."

I glared at the mother part but was otherwise satisfied, "Good, " I said.

I heard a snicker from the side of me ,"What's so funny ?"

Tim put his hands up and tried to keep a straight face but he ended up bursting out laughing. I elbowed my boyfriend in the ribs.

"Nothing Crock," Tim said, "I just think it's funny when you go all mother hen on us."

"You should be worried more about your teammates grades," I said, "Unless you want to be down a teammate. You our leader after all."

Tim raised an eyebrow. The bell rang and I was thanking the heavenly lord that my first period I had none of my friends in it. Don't get me wrong I love my friends dearly. Just that one hour break from them at the moment felt like heaven.

**Watchtower**

**May 1**

**6:23 p.m.**

"Then as I was standing up out of the booth he slapped my ass!" Cassie was telling me as we were streching before training,, "I really thought he was a gentleman. I mean he wasn't that cute. But he was acting nice but it ends up he was a total pig."

"I could beat him up for you babe?" Bart said from across the room.

God I hate the training room's acoustics. The boy's often listen in on mine and Cassie's conversations and give in much not appreciated input. Especially during Cassie's many, many dates. Ever since breaking up with Tim, my current boyfriend, she's been going through boyfriends faster than I go through weapons. Which at the moment is pretty fast. I've gotten my bow broken at least four times in the past two weeks because of some nasty crooks in Palo Alto.

Cassie doesn't have a hard time with boys, they practically throw themselves at her. (I also have experience with that problem). But when things get serious Cassie has a serious knack to end things fast. Her excuse is, she thinks they may be scared away by her powers and stuff. I think it's because she likes to play with boy's emotions. Which isn't the best thing, but it keeps her entertained whatever.

"Bart freaking Allen-call me babe ever again. And I'll ring your neck," Cassie said.

I do love my best friend? Have I ever mentioned that? The way she can yell at the boys in the Gamma squad seriously entertains me.

"I wish I went to your school," Cassie said, "I bet there are cute guys at your school."

"By cute guys," I said, "You mean Bart, Tim, and Garfield?"

"You just named your boyfriend," Tim commented from the across the room.

"Shh," I said putting a hand towards my boyfriend, "I'm proving a point."

I heard Tim scoff as Bart and Garfield erupted into laughter.

"Well maybe Kyle's school could be a good fit," Cassie said glancing at our newest member, a Green Lantern, "There may be a bunch of hot Kyle's running around."

"I can hear you?" Kyle said I saw a tint of pink erupt on his cheeks.

That made Cassie chuckle and flirtatiously add, "Oh I know."

I rolled my eyes, "Ok change of plans," Nightwing said as he came inside our training room, "Your training is moved to tomorrow. You have a mission."

"Finally!" Bart said. We all stared at him funnily, "Well not that missions are always a good thing. I mean it's bad guys…doing er bad things. But am I the only one feeling a little stir crazy?"

He wasn't the only one, ever sine the Light's takedown in November, the Villain's have been pretty hesitant to do much. I mean besides the fact that the Joker's on the loose in Gotham right now. Things haven't been there normal stressfulness. Not that I've been extra busy. Training, weekly sessions with Black Canary, patrol with Artemis in Palo Alto, and Artemis's scary near wedding have made my life utterly and completely insane.

Part of me didn't want the craze of a bunch of covert missions to be added to the mix.

We get ready in our costume. Over the past few months Artemis decided my uniform was getting old. Well my pants ripped. So either I was getting fat, or they were seriously getting old. I changed my uniform to black. Because while I liked Oliver and all-he technically wasn't even my mentor. Artemis was.

My uniform was dark black leggings with diamond shaped cut out down the side of my leg, and a strap on my thigh to hold onto my knife. With Combat boots that were meant for men but they were so comfortable and they went with the outfit. The top was a crop top that ended right above my belly button. It was a turtle neck. I had a knew bow that Oliver had designed himself, which he gave me for Christmas. It was dark black and so easy to use, a frigging Archer's dream. The last thing to finish it off was a small mask that rimmed my eyes. I started to leave my hair down too. Because I started to become paranoid that people would connect one long ponytail to another. (That tells you how much I've been hanging around with Tim lately)

"You guys are going to reprehend the Joker," Nightwing said.

I laughed out loud, but then after a few loud chuckles and a glare earned I realized he wasn't kidding, "Are you serious-do you remember what happened last time-"

"Of course I remember what happened last time," Nightwing said, "Beast Boy got shot-and if he wasn't to sit this one out-I wouldn't blame him."

"No way," Garfield said, "You are not benching me."

"It's your choice."

"Garfield-"

"Look Amber," he said, "I know you've saved my ass a few times. And I know I'm the youngest on the team but you have to stop worrying."

I couldn't help worrying about me. The Gamma squad have become family to me, like siblings I've never had. Well I do have both sisters, but there both a lot older than me. But it's like I have four other brothers, and another sister. I have to admit it's nice. But it get's hard when there put in harms way.

"I-" I started.

Nightwing swiftly interrupted, "Other than the accident the mission was performed adequately. And you six have been preforming- at high levels in training. Your also the only team available to deal with this right now."

I sighed running a hand through my hair, "Do you want to go on this mission," Nightwing asked.

I did-but the only reason I want to go-is because I've paranoid. I can't let my friends get hurt.

"Of course," I snapped harsher than necessary, "Now tell us the damn mission already, before we hange our mind."

Nightwing looked startle. I usually held my temper pretty good, besides snarky comments-I wasn't…rash. But at the moment I felt rash…and paranoid. And a ton of things. I couldn't help but run the moment of Garfield getting shot over and over again.

"Joker has been hitting banks all over Gotham-lately Batman's been busy-"

"Doing what?" asked Cassie, "I thought you said crime was on a down low."

"It was," Dick said running a hand through his hair, "That's classified. Now we expect him to hit one of two banks. Squad A is going to be Beast Boy, Wonder Girl, and Robin. Led by Robin. Team B is going to be Bart, Amber and Kyle. Led by Amber."

Great, I was with the newbie, and the one who's failing Chemistry.

Tim tried to pull me away to talk to me, I abruptly brushed him of and went to one of the jets.

**Somewhere over the United States of America**

**May 1**

**7:54 p.m.**

"Don't look so sour about getting me as a teammate," Bart said when we were halfway there, "There's a fifty percent chance that we'll miss half the fight."

"Or we'll be alone for half the fight?" Kyle pointed out.

I rolled my eyes my grip tightening on the joystick, "Thanks for that fantastic information."

Garfield getting shot one again panged me in the back of my mind. I wish he was on my squad.

"I know you wanted to be with Garfield so you can watch him," Bart said suddenly serious.

"Read my mind," I mumbled.

"He'll be fine," said Bart, "I'm sure Cassie, and Tim are keeping a close eye on him. Plus, it wasn't the Joker who shot him. It was Blaze and Blaze-"

"Don't," I said, "Just don't."

Bart frowned and put a hand of my shoulder for a brief second of apology, I nodded and gave a faint smile. I took a deep breath and stared straight forward. Trying to remember. Blaze was still a tender topic with me. My nightmare's, flashbacks, Canary say's it PTSD. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. For people who usually get back from war. I can see why I have it. I mean my dad was ten times more cruel than usual the weeks I was with him. I committed a murder. Then for a few day's didn't talk and hardly ate because I believed I disserved to die.

Usually the team was better about not mentioning him, but as time goes on, and my nightmares and stress levels only go up. They've been having slip ups.

"Any," Kyle spoke up and scratched the back of his head uncomfortably, "Any advice you can give me?"

I sighed, "Don't die"?

"Did you just quote the Hunger Games?" Bart smirked.

I sighed and looked at Kyle, he didn't seem like a normal Green Lantern. From what I've heard and been told, well there suppose to be fearless. And Kyle's the opposite of that. HE's fifteen a year younger than me. He likes drawing. He's pretty quiet. Respectful. Nice. He listen's to order's. Just not- fearless.

"Don't take things Joker say's personally," I said, "He has a knack of getting into people's heads."

Well most criminals do, I don't have much experience with the Joker, except for that one breif time in October. But from what Tim tells me, he madder than my father.

Well then there's Blaze, but I shouldn't even be getting into that. I shouldn't remember how he forced me to choose between my young niece's life and my innocence.

We came to the bank and put the ship in camouflage mode before perching on a rooftop overlooking the bank.

"Calm night," Kyle commented, "would be good time to draw."

"IT would," I said quietly. I didn't mean to say that out loud. I feel like ever since I went mute for a few day's I've been having trouble not shutting up. If that makes any sense.

"You draw?" Kyle asked.

"I…I used to," I said, "But not anymore."

I stopped, after getting out of the hospital. I felt like that was part of the old me. The me that hadn't killed someone. Something changed in me that night after I committed the murder, and suddenly I found myself…not wanting to do things. It just felt wrong to draw and paint-when the old me would never murder. I suppose to knew me would never paint. It really upset Artemis. I remember her screaming at me once about it. Then apologizing. My sister loves me I know that, I know she loves me a lot. I just… also know she get's fed up with me. My closed personality. My new lack of interest in things I use to love.

"Why not-"

"She just doesn't any more man," Bart said harshly.

Kyle looked down and shut up, I gave a scolding look at Bart. Who shrugged sheepishly.

I decided this would be the best time as any to check in with group A, "We're in position. You?"

"Yeah," I heard Tim say, "We're in position. Uh Amber about the data briefing."

"I'd rather not talk about it here," I said.

"What that your worried about me," Garfield said, "Amber-you shouldn't even be worried. Joker wasn't the one who shot me remember."

Yeah I do remember who shot you, he haunts my dreams every night.

"We're worried about you Amber," Cassie said ,"You obviously haven't been sleeping-"

"Tim!" I said, "I thought you weren't-"

"I didn't," Tim said , "What you tell me will always stay between us. But it's obviosu you haven't been sleeping."

"It is not-" but I shut up because it was, "We are not having this conversation right now."

"What else are we suppose to do," Bart commented.

I glared at him.

I hated when they did this, tried to be supportive. I mean I don't hate it exactly but sometimes like times like these. Times that I'm just trying to forget what happened. That there constant chatter about me being ok isn't helping.

"Will you guys just shut up," I finally snapped pinching the bridge of my nose, "I told you I'm ok."

"A few months ago," Tim sighed, "You told me you'd never be ok. That you'd get through it but you'd never be ok."

I glared, "What happened to keeping things we talk about in between us."

"What happened to the fact that your lying straight to us," Cassie replied snottily.

"What Cassie is trying to say," Garfield explained in a voice that made me forget he was only fourteen, "Is that we care about you, your our friend. And what ever is wrong right now we're her to talk."

"Well I'm glad you're here to talk," I muttered, "But I'm not here to talk."

I started to crack my knuckles in frustration.

"Your really impossible," I heard Tim mutter, "You know that."

"Well if I'm so impossible," I snapped, "Why do you even try to work with me. Why did one day did you decide to tolerate me. Because I seem to remember the first time we met. You hated me, you were so convinced I'd kill someone. You predicted it. Congratulations. So why are you still here being a boyfriend. I'm an assassin and murder exactly what you expected and hated about me."

"I was afraid," Tim said, "Afraid of what you'd become. But I know your not like that."

"I'm still a murder."

"Blaze committed suicide goddamit Amber, why can't you get that threw your head. He wanted you to kill him."

"I could have found another way Tim," I said.

I closed my eyes images flashing through my brain. I heard Tim talking but I didn't here him. My knee's were shaky and weak.

Someone put a hand on my shoulder.

"Amber you ok?" Bart asked.

"I'm fine," I said out of the corner of my eye I noticed a car pulling down the abandoned Gotham street.

"We have a car moving down Group B's bank," I said through the comm.

"License plate?" asked Tim.

"2232KE," I said.

"IT was reported stolen twenty minutes ago," said Tim, "That's most likely the car. Keep us posted we're on our way," said Tim.

"Team B moving in," I said shooting a grapple. As Bart ran down and Kyle flew we stayed in the shadows making sure no one saw us. This might not even be them.

But then I knew it was them when I heard a laugh as a door opened and a pale face smile as he stands up and look's at the bank.

Oh this was going to be a really long night.

**Sooo, I was just like. What would I even write about if I was going to write a sequel. So I started, and I was like. I feel like this would be a story that's starts off with a nightmare. So that's what I did. Then I kept writing...and I kept writeing then I saved it and was like oh poop I have like 4,000 words already. This may just work out. Sooo my wonderful and amazing readers here is the sequel to Control.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Gotham**

**May 1**

**8:07 p.m.**

After a few months of fighting with the same people. You get use to things. It was unanimously decided that me and Tim were leaders. Who outranks who hasn't been clear to me lately. Or why we were chosen as leaders absolutely baffles me. Well no, Tim's born to lead. Me on the other hand-I'm just a wild grenade ready to blow up at any moment. It baffles me more often than not why my friend even trust me most of the time. After all I've done, I don't disserve there trust. Yet Bart and Kyle automatically go to deal with Harley Quinn and the henchman, and they leave me to take care of the joker.

Kyle's the Green Lantern? Shouldn't he be the one taking care of the joker. In the end I don't argue. Because well, I don't have time to argue.

"Lookie lookie what I have here," the Joker cackles and grins, "Isn't it one of my best friends daughters. You've grown. Changed the suit. Dyed your hair. Black and red look well on you. Represents your personality."

I didn't choose black and red because of my personality. I chose black and red because I just was tired of green and any other color would frusterate me. Don't ask.

I don't have a lot of arrows to begin with, I haven't been at Ollie's in a few days. It'd be no use shooting them anyways. Because from what I here Joker is notorious for dodging Bat shaped boomerangs. He should have no problem with my arrows. I wished I'd had some explosive Arrow's on me, but I was fresh out from Patrol last night.

I run forward and through the first punch with the hand that doesn't have the bow on it, he easily dodged it and managed to do a round house kick sending me backwards. I drop my bow from the shock of the kick and he picks it up and snaps it. Cackling in humor, "Awe did I break the little girl's toy. What are you going to do about it."

I stand up and kick him square in the chest, I'm a small girl, and I don't think he expected my kick to hurt as much as it did. But after years of practice I've learned the best way to pack a pretty powerful punch. He walks back dazed and pulls out a gun. I don't think he realizes how much that doesn't phase me. I kick it out of his hands and it falls feet from where I stand.

He laughs, "I like you angry, I didn't know a broken bow could set you off this much."

I wasn't even that mad, or phased by the bow. I've had it broken a few times. I was just mad, at my friends, at my boyfriend considerably. About my nightmares. About my past. At my father. I was mad at so many things a once that I didn't know exactly how to handle it. So I was overloaded with fury. I could hardly control myself as I engaged in fight with Joker. I did control myself, because there's always been this overlaying fear that if I go to hard-even as someone as mad as the Joker. That I'd become a murder of two people at one.

I then remember who I'm really, really mad at Blaze. I through a right hook straight to his jaw which sends him flying to the ground. From the looks of it out cold. I hear the sound of a jet keeping hold in the sky. But don't see it, probably because it was in camouflage mode.

I'm surprised it was so easy. It couldn't be that easy.

"Tim," I said slowly, "that was easy..."

"Yeah," he said grinning at me, "I can't believe you just took down the joker."

I hear a cold laugh and Tim moves to cuff the joker, "I'm more surprised she hasn't noticed that in the car there's a bomb."

Tim kicks the joker in the head knocking him out again the moment I go off in a dead run to the car swinging open the door. Tim's behind me.

"I don't know how to…deal with a bomb of that type-"

"Shut up Tim," I said. I went and I turned it around terroring the back open.

"What are you doing!"

"I said shut up Tim," I growled now harsher, "I look at the many many wires. If I touch any of them the wrong way-that thing exploded, "Get the team out of here, if I fail this thing will blow the next dozen blocks around it."

"Than we'll try to evacuate," he said, "But we're not leaving you."

I want to tell him that we wouldn't even have time to evacuate, but it's no use he's already gone and talking to my team. I bring out my quiver and grab one of of my metal tipped arrows. I need to get it to the clock, it's the only way to shut off the bomb. The bomb works electrically. If I put an extra thing in the circuit in just the right place, I may be able to stop it. But if I put it in the wrong place, or accidentally cut one of the wires as I slide in the arrow. Well we're screwed.

I slowly put it in, careful to weave around the wires. And cursing the arrow for being so well made. If it was a dull arrow this would be a lot easier. I started to get to the part where I could barely see. I saw the clock from the other side, and didn't even look at how much time I had left. That'd stress me too much. I heard the beeping hurrying up and new it was a bad sign. IT was this or nothing. I stabbed hard going threw the plastic.

The beeping stopped. I turned it around, one second read on the clock. One second later….

"One second later and we would have all gone kaplooee!" I heard Joker say from where he was hand cuffed to the light pole behind me. I also heard the ring of sirens.

"Bobs disabled," I muttered threw the comm.

"If you had a bomb," I said, "If that was your main goal-why the hell have you been robbing banks."

"Extra cash," Joker shrugged, "And how else was I suppose to get your attention."

"My attention?" I asked.

"Isn't it obvious," Joker said, "Someone's testing you. Seeing how far you go until you just drop dead. That bomb-was specially made for you. You dropped bombs just like that when you were younger, your father taught you how to disarm them."

"My father," I said in realization, "He's the one making the orders. How he's in prison."

"Not every one working at that prison," cackled the Joker, "Is clean. Word can get out, orders can get out, he can get out."

"Of Belle Rev," I said, "Please."

"It's been done before," Joker said.

"Yeah when there leader was a mole," I said, "I'm done talking to you. You're a madmen- your words don't even phase me."

I have to climb up the fire escape to the roof in order to get back to the jet. Bart and Kyle are already there when I get there.

"Nice job-" I ignore Bart. Because I'm angry at him and now annoyed with the Joker. He could be lying for all I know. But he could me telling the truth, and telling it to me to rub it in my face. I mean, I did know that bomb well. I have planted some like it. How would the joker know that.

I sighed and started up the jet.

"You ok?" Kyle asked cautiously, "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"I'm fine," I commented dryly.

**Star City**

**May 2**

**11:34 a.m.**

The next day, I don't get any sleep. I think Artemis and Wally know it, but I make the excuse that it's Saturday and I need to get to my session with Canary. To avoid the conversation.

I zeta-beam to Canary's house, the one she share's with Oliver. I remind myself to search for him-to get a replacement for my bow, and to stock up majiorly on arrows. Canary's in the room we always talk in. An extra room Oliver has with a comfortable couch and a chair and a TV.

I don't mind canary honestly, infract, I actually like her. She's easy to talk too. Artemis said, a few years ago she helped the whole team get over an exersize that went on. She didn't tell me much detail. Just that it was traumatizing.

I open the house and say a quick hi to Ollie who's sitting at the dinning room table doing some work. He smiles warmly, "Heard your bow broke last night. I made some adjustments to your style and gave it to Artemis."

"Thanks," I said, "Dinah's already in the room right?"

Oliver nodded. I slinked up the stairs and find Dinah on her phone she automatically puts it donw and smiles warmly at me. I sit on the couch and fiddle with the hem of my sweater for a few moments as I feel Dinah's eyes go on me. Probably staring at the dark circles under my eyes.

"I heard about the mission with Joker last night," she said, "Good job."

"I've heard that three times already," I commented before I could stop myself.

"Really," Dinah says, "From who?"

"Bart, Dick, and my Sister. Artemis not Jade…"

"Amber?" Canary asks, "The mission last night-anything happen?"

I think about telling her about the therapy that my dad is trying to mess with me from prison. But I decide not to, it's only a therapy after all. And plus she doesn't need to know about it. My business is my business.

"No," I said, "I defused the bomb…why, why would you ask?"

"You seemed troubled," she said, "Are you ok Amber? Things alright with Tim?"

Actually I wasn't sure how all right things were with Tim. I purposely avoided him last night after the mission. I'm actually avoiding the whole team, I haven't even looked at my phone this morning.

"There fine," I said my voice sounded strained and forced.

"Amber," Canary starts, "I thought we'd gotten over this."

"Over what?" I snapped.

"The point of this," she said, "Of us-is so you can talk to me. I can help you figure things out."

I frowned, "No," I said, "The point of you-is to make sure I'm not getting suicidal again. When I told Tim I disserved to die. I wans't even suicidal. I just…think I was suppose to die that night."

"Amber-" she started.

"I don't want to talk," I snapped, "I don't get why people don't get that. My friends. My boyfriend. My sister's. They just want to talk. I want to forget…."

"You can't just forget-"

"To hell I can," I reply icily I stand up.

"Amber our session isn't over-your obviously-"

"Troubled, insane, seriously messed up," I said, "It doesn't take a freaking therapist to figure that one out."

By the time I make it out of the bedroom I sprinting down the stairs, outside. I make it to the zeta beam and stop dead in my tracks. I don't even know where to go. Home? No, I know for a fact that Wally's suppose to babysit Lian today. I can't be around Lian right now. I'm a mess. Gotham? I could find Tim? I could meet up with Cassie? Bart? Any of my friends. They'll just ask questions. I doubt anyone will be in the watchtower today. No one has training on Saturday's. It's either missions. Or nothing. I have my work out clothes in my purse. I always do.

I end up choosing the Watchtower, because if I'm alone, training, no one will ask questions.

**Watchtower**

**May 2**

**11:23 p.m.**

Bam! I hit the punching bag harder. I'd rather archery training, But my bow's broken. So I guess the best stress releiver I'm going to be able to get is a bunching bag. I don't even know how long I've been at this. I just want to get all my anger out. It isnt' working. The more it isn't working the harder I'm punching. I feel a dull pain in my hands but I ignore it as I keep going.

"It's eleven at night you know…" I whip around at the sound of my boyfriends voice. I look down at my hands. I must have been at this for at least seven hours. I'm sweating and panting hard. My knuckles are bruised some of them are even bloody.

"What's going on with you," he asks he grabs one of my hands looking at it gently, he pulls me twords the med bay, "I've been callign you all day. When I got fed up I figured you were doing good and been talking to Canary all day. Little do I know you stormed out of her office after a two minute conversation."

I don't even know how to respond. Time sure went fast, I look back towards the training room, and feel like I have a desire to go back and do it all over again. Because while my anger didn't go away- at least I was a little bit distracted.

"Well?" Tim asked.

I'd forgotten he was talking to me. He led me to one of the med bay's crappy plastic chairs before digging through one of the cupboards and finding an alcohol wipe."

"I don't want to talk about it," I mumble.

"Figures," grumbles Tim wiping the wipe over my hands making me wince. He grabbed the bandage wrap and starts to gently wrap it around my hands, "Your impossible you know. We're here to talk to you-we're not going to-"

"Not going to understand," I said, "None of you are going to understand. None of you have killed."

"Jade has killed," said Tim.

"Jade likes killing," I said.

I use to think me and Jade were alike, and I had nothing in common with Artemis besides the fact that we both are good with a Bow. But now, I'd like to think I was more alike with Artemis. And the only thing me and Jade have in common are our DNA, and our hatred for our father.

"We might not be able to understand," Tim said, "But…you can't keep things bundled up inside you. It's not healthy. It's almost as bad as not talking for four days."

I glare because he doesn't bring that up often, but when it does, I know he's trying to anger me. To get me riled up, and scream at him. He wants me to scream my feelings. He thinks it's going to work.

"Asshole," I mutter, "You're an asshole!"

"Am I?" he smirks. But it's not a happy smirk, it's a smirk because he knows he got under my skin.

I stand up and push him away, "Stop caring about me!"

"I'm suppose too I'm your boyfriend," he said, "The only thing you can do to stop that is just break up with me."

"I wish I could!" I scream and turn to sprint out of the med bay but before I do I turn around and scream, "Stop caring about me! And I'll stop caring about you!"

I get back at home. Artemis asks where I've been, I mutter some intolerable answer and go to my room shutting the door behind me and locking it. This has been one of my worse days. I mean I have had a lot of mental break down days. But at the moment, I feel like I'm just about to explode. Me and Tim hardly fight like that either. We hardly scream at each other. Well, he's screamed at me before. I've just never screamed back. I've kept control for the past few months, I've done what I've suppose to. Just every day, I feel like I'm loosing it more and more. And last night with the Joker was just the topper.

I don't sleep that night either my minds racing too fast.

**Palo Alto**

**May 3**

**6:49 a.m.**

I come out of my room trying to hide my aching muscles, bags under my eyes, and aching muscles.

"Did you get any sleep last night?" Artemis asks looking at me with concern. We don't have a big breakfast this morning. Wally forgot to go the store and get eggs. So we're stuck with some stale Lucky Charms Artemis finds in the counter. I'm not even eating that, just pushing it around in my bowl watching it get soggier and soggier.

"What do you think," I reply more bitterly than I meant to.

Artemis sighs, "You should try to get some sleep today stay home."

"I have training," I comment.

"You've trained enough for two lifetimes Amber," Wally points out, "One day isn't going to kill you."

"One day can make all the difference," I said, "What if there's a mission and they need me!"

"Calm down Amber," Artemis said, "I'm sure they can handle it."

"I want to go to training," I said, "Please Artemis. I can sleep tonight."

Artemis glares," If I let you go to training, I swear your going to drop dead. Plus you trained enough last night from what Tim tells me."

"So what," I snapped, "You and Tim have little talks about my well being behind my back."

"He care's about you Amber," Artemis said, "He just told me to make sure you were ok-"

"Well I'm fine," amber said.

"Canary told me you were pretty upset in therapy and that you left early too…"

I groan, "Isn't there suppose to be like Doctor, patenit-"

"She didn't tell me what you talked about," Artemis said sternly, "Just that she thinks it'd be wise for you to ome more than once a wee-"

"No way!" I snapped, "My life is already busy enough!"

"Well you could always stop your other activates!" Artemis snapped slamming down her spoon against the table.

I glare my mouth open, she's never made a threat like that before. If I wasn't a hero, apart of the team. I wouldn't even know who I was anymore. I would be just a messed up girl who has trouble with relationships. At least being a hero, I was a messed up girl, who saves peoples lives.

"Don't make threats you can't keep!" I scream out (There I go again with this screaming thing). "Your just making things worse! I hate you!"

I sprint back to my bedroom slamming the door and locking it before falling to the floor and curling up into a ball trying to smother my own sobs.

Someone lightly raps on the door, "You ok?" It's Wally.

"I'm fine," I said trying to keep my voice steady, "I don't hate Artemis-I just…"

"She wont take away being a hero from you kid," Wally said softly, "You'd both go insane. But I do think it's a good idea to go to Canary's more often."

"Because I'm messed up," I mumble.

"We're all a little messed up," Wally chuckles, "Things will get better, I mean how could they get any worse?"

"You'd be surprised," I mumble.

I don't realize I say it out loud.

"What was that?" he asked.

"Nothing," I say, "I'm fine now, I'll stay home."

Wally's silent for a few moments and I think he went away, "Just try to sleep, and call us if anything happens…Ok?"

"Ok," I say.

I hear the front door close and once again I'm alone. I feel the tears stream down my face and not soon to stopping. I curl back up into a ball and desperately hope for everything to just stop.

**Palo Alto**

**May 3**

**4:09 p.m.**

I'd stopped crying by now. I'm still in a ball laying at the doorway when I heard the front door open.

"Amber?" it's Tim's voice. He's just here to piss me off again. I tell myself, if I stay silent maybe he'll just go away, "Amber?" his voice is louder and I hear his footsteps approach the door and hear his hand jingle the doorknob, "I know your in there."

I still don't say anything instead I hear him slide down the other side of the door, "I was being kind of an asshole yesterday. We have been pushing you hard to figure out what's going on lately… We're all just worried."

"Well stop."

"Will you stop saying that," snapped Tim. I heard a click meaning he'd picked the lock he suddenly engulfed me in a hug, "I love you, you hear me, and you don't even have to love you ba-"

I turned and kissed him hard he seemed surprised at first but I felt my hands tangle in his hair somewhere along the line our tounges intertwined as we sat in the doorway having a full on make out session. He was the one to break out of the kiss. Only then I realized I was running out of oxygen.

"Wow," he said, "I should really get you angry at me more often."

I chuckled lightly leaning my head against his chest and hearing his rapid heart beat, "You falling asleep on me."

"No," I cursed myself. Sleeping would just make it worst, sleeping will just call on the nightmares.

"Well maybe you should," Tim pushed the hair out of my face, "You look horrible."

"I can't," I muttered.

"The nightmares," he asked.

I didn't answer. The nightmares made me feel weak. I didn't want to let him into that. My weak side. Whenever he get's that he pity's me.

"Hey," he said, "How about I stay with you until you fall asleep. And if you have a nightmare I'll wake you up."

I barely nod before someone lifts me up I groan, "Tim…stop treating me nicely. It's confusing me."

He chuckles as he places me down on the bed and put's the covers snuggly over me before sitting at the foot of my bed. I close my eyes, and they instantly shoot back open.

Crap.

I can't even close my eyes anymore in…just plain fear. This is pathetic.

A hand comes up and lands on my hand, "I'm right here Amber…no one else is here but me and you."

His other hand comes up and lands on my back rubbing gentle circles on it. My eyes once again flutter shut, and I start to doze off. And I allow myself too…because Tim's right here next to me, and I trust that he won't let anything happen to me.

**Sorry for slow updates, hopefully I can update more often with Winter Break and all! Review what you think!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Palo Alto**

**May 4**

**9:34 AM**

"I need you to go with me to see my father," I say. Tim's quiet as he continues to cook the egg's in the pan. This morning, he practically has been having to force me to eat. Artemis and Wally, had an emergency last night, so Tim slept on the couch last night and promised to take care of me for the night.

"Does your sister know you want to do this," Tim says. His voice is low, as if he's trying to smother a certain emotion.

"No," I say, "And she isn't going to know…"

"Why?" he said, "A week ago-a day ago-you would have never done that. I know something happened-with the Joker-it's what's been making you act funny. I don't really want to press-but seriously Amber. You have to tell me what is going on…"

"I think my dad is trying to mess with me from the prison," I say, "That bomb-I've set that bomb down for missions for my dad when I was younger. It's…it's why I knew how to defuse it. Joker-for once in his life-wasn't trying to kill people. He was taking orders for my father."

"Orders from your father," scoffed Tim, "Since when has Joker taken orders?"

"Think Tim," I say, "To-when Joker and Lex were having that meeting."

"You think Apokolips is apart of this too…"

"I don't know," I say shrugging. I can't meet his eyes because I'm worried they will show me the wrong emotion, "Joker could be the one wanting to mess with me-not my father-I just I have to see him."

"This isn't going to help you," Tim says, "But I'll take you."

"That was easier-"

"Only on two conditions. You promise me you start going to Canary again, and you promise me to tell me what the hell is going on…"

"Tim," I say quietly, "You know-"

"I know," he slams down the egg in front of me, "That your driving yourself insane right now. So, promise, or you'll have to find another way to see your father."

I stare at him and glare, "Fine whatever."

'

"Amber" he says.

"I promise ok," I say quietly, "Have I even gotten back on my promises."

"You don't exactly make a lot of them…"

"I promised to save Lian," I tell him, "I promised to do it whatever it took."

Tim grabbed my hand, "That's one promise I wish you didn't make."

I look up but he's already let go of my hand and gone to the bathroom. I'm a little annoyed. He knew I had to make that promise. For a second I just want to punch something but instead. I just sigh and start to furiously munch on my scrambled eggs. I make it too my room and get ready. I wear jeans and a long knit sweater. Part of me want to hide some sort of weapon in my jeans but I know they'll have a metal detector at the prison. So instead I find the most pointiest pencil in my room and use it to secure my hair into this bun thing. If there smart they'll tell me to take it out. Or maybe they want him dead as much as I do. Or maybe they want me to go to prison for attempted murder because I'm related to my father.

I step out of my room and Tim his patently waiting outside on his phone.

He looks unsure so I step forward and place a soft kiss on his lips, "Please Tim I need to do this and you know it…"

That doesn't mean I have to like it. Makes us go through the zeta beam so he can drive us in the Sports Car. He doesn't want anyone to have a clue to our identities if we zeta beam there. Though I'm pretty sure most of the people will recognize me for the month I was in Boston.

**Bel Rev**

**May 5**

**11:30 am**

We're silent for the two hour drive there, he doesn't even move to turn on the radio and I can tell he's deep in thought Probably a little angry at me. But I don't really care anymore, if I'm being manipulative over him. Because I need to see my father, and I need Tim to be there because I know he'll stop me from doing anything stupid.

When we get there, we have to go through this security thing and get our finger printed and crap.

"Tim Drake and Amber Crock," one of the guards says, "A felons daughter and a rich guys adopted son…"

"What about it?" I snap.

"It's just curios, " he shrugs., "Ok we're done with everything. But I'm going to ask you to take the pencil out of your hair MA'am."

I frown and put it into one of the bins.

"Don't want anything bad to happen," says the guard with a smile.

A smile, seriously.

"This isn't a happy visit if that's what your wondering," I feel I need to defend myself because I can already tell this guy is judging me, "I hate my father."

He snorts and leads us down a few halls, "You have ten minutes," he says.

He opens the door, I can't see my father yet. But I know he's in there, I feel my insides not up and for a second I just stand tere motionless hardly able to breathe.

Tim stands behind me and rubs the sides of my forearms ever so slightly so I look up at him, "You can back out, you don't have to do this."

I gulp and nod fast taking in a breath because the lack of oxygen has gotten to me, "I have to do this."

Tim nods and I disconnect from him as I step inside and he cautiously follows. I sit in the chair on the left and Tim takes his eat beside me.

"So you two are still at thing," I hear my father say, "I honestly didn't expect that to happen…"

I glare, "Are you giving orders from inside here, to mess with me?"

"Whoa kiddos straight to the point," he says, "I can't admit anything on camera it may get me in trouble."

Tim slams on the table which makes both me and my father jump, "She asked you a question, goddamit can you be a good person for once in your life and answer it?"

Tim looks angry, and I remember he doesn't even want to be here. I know why though, because this is just making everything worse. He knew Sportsmaster would just toy me, he also knows I would have just gone without him also.

"You've kept up your abilities right," he says, "I don't want my greatest creation to go untrained."

"Your greatest creation," I spit out, "Sure."

"I am the one who slept-"

"Ok," I said, "Please spare me the gory details…ok? And just tell me what I asked?"

"Why would I do that," he leans forward and gives me a grin. I realize where Jade got her Cheshire grin. Damn him. I grip the table infront of me in frustration.

"Because you may be a madman-and a complete asshole. But I am your child," I say.

"Yes," he agrees, "But as your father I'm trying to teach you a lesson…"

"So…so you were the one who hired the Joker…what if I didn't know how to defuse it. I could have gotten killed…countless other could have gotten killed. Just for you to teach me a lesson?"

"What do you expect little girl?" he says.

"Your dead to me," I say.

He smiles, "Good enough for me. I just want you to know that even in this hell hole of a prison, I have my ways to get to you. I'm always going to be there Amber. I'm never leaving you alone-the only way you can ever get rid of me. Is by killing me like you killed Blaze."

I make some sort of noise in the back of my throat and I've dived forward before I know it. My hands leaping to grasp his neck, somone pulls me over there shoulder as I screamed and kicked against there back. I don't stop screaming and struggling to wiggle out of the grasp until we're all the way down the hall. It's Tim I can tell just by the way he puts me down to the ground and hugs me close till I stop shaking with anger. Maybe even fear. What would have I done if Tim hadn't grabbed me back? I wouldn't have actually killed him right. I didn't want to kill him right? Ok I did want to kill him a lot. Because I know I'd save lives. My life maybe. It was like me killing Blaze…it felt right, but I know it's wrong which is why…I'm so…weird about it.

"You have permission to say I told you so," I mumble into his chest as he rubs my back.

He kisses me light on the forehead, "How big of an asshole do you think I am?"

I snort, "At least I know it's him…."

"Well now your going to be paranoid as shit," he says, "Not that you weren't before…."

I shrug.

**Somewhere**

**May 5**

**12:50 am**

We don't speak against till we get into his car and start driving away.

"Somehow he's getting information to the outside," I say, "We have to find out how?"

"There's probably a few faulty guards still from a few years ago, when the head guy was working with the light. They tried to fish out everyone they could from the system. But the only way to fully make sure there's no more moles. Is by firing every single person who works there. That's over 1,000 jobs they'd have to fill."

"So your saying we have no idea of knowing who is good or bad?"

Tim shrugs, "I can ask Batman to investigate?"

"Then we'll be busted for going to the prison," I grumble.

"Bruce already knows," says Tim, "I thought you were smarter Amber."

I punch him affectionately in the shoulder and slightly feel the tension from before leafing off.

"He wont tell my sister," I say quietly, "Either of them."

"I doubt it," says Tim, "But I think you should tell her."

I shake my head, "The less people who know…about any of this the better. I don't need a paranoid Artemis on my ass."

"She'll have a right to be paranoid," says Tim, "Your father is finding ways to keep tabs on you from prison. If that isn't creepy…I don't know what is."

I want to point out that he works in a freaking Cave with bats and other creepy animals, but I opt out and just say silent.

"I wish things were over," Tim says, "That we could just live our lives."

"We can never live our lives," I say, "We both…we both would be lost without crime fighting and you know it."

Tim fornws, "I wish we meant under normal curicimastnaces. You had a normal family and my family was still alive. We both when to Gotham Private. Then we just got together."

I snort, "Tim, you know without…our other activities we wouldn't depend on each other as much as we do. And if I even met you under normal curicimastances I probably would have passed you as a normal asshole, and found another boyfriend. Like stereotypical Blaze, when he pretended to…well you know. Except he'd secretly be an asshole, and all he'd really want to do is get into my pants. While you, you would secretly be really nice, but I'd never know because I was never on the team. And I would never know you were a hero."

"A normal asshole?" he says, "What is a normal asshole?"

I snort and hit him in the shoulder, "The point is Tim, I love the team. I'm a socially awkward ex assassin, without the team…well I'd just probably just be a socially awkward girl."

"Well I'd be a normal asshole, and since I may be the only one who takes notice of you. You may give me a chance?"

"Sure," I say rolling my eyes, "It took me like a month to actually like you, and that's with me being on the team and seeing your nice side. It'd take you like a year to win me over. If I gave you the chance."

"If you gave me a chance, "he says.

I shrug and smirk, "In that world-maybe instead of being socially awkward- I'm a snobby bitch."

"Well a snobby bitch and a normal asshole, seems like a love story…."

I role my eyes and flip on the music for the rest of the ride home.

**Palo Alto**

**May 5**

**3:02 pm**

When I get home, I expect Wally and my sister to be back. I didn't expect my team to be lounging around in my house. Since when did they get keys? Eh, everyone has key to our apartment, forget I asked. Cassie, Bart, and Garfield are all on the couch watching SAW IV. Yes, I can tell which SAW movie it is with one glance, sue me. Meanwhile Bart's sitting on the counter eating some of our food. Not just our food, MY NUTELLA!

Me and Tim stand in the doorway for a little while waiting for someone to notice us. Cassie's pretty freaked from the movie and's face is literally buried in Garfield's back. Garfield's laughing like a maniac. And Kyle, well poor innocent Kyle looked horrified and ready to hide behind Garfield's back also.

Bart's first to notice us, with his mouth full he says ,"Your out of food."

I scoff rather loudly which causes the rest to look at me. Kyle fumbles with the remote and swiftly turns off the TV. I put down my purse on the counter and quickly shove Bart away from my Nutella, before grabbing it and pointing at the name written in sharpie. The jar of heaven was almost all gone, "You see this," I say pointing at my name, "This is mine."

"What Amber is trying to say is, what are you guys doing here?" Tim asks.

"Well," Cassie explains, "Neither of you were answering your phone."

"And so we called Bats, but he said you weren't at home either…" adds on Bart.

"So we came here, and when we didn't see you…we'd thought we'd wait for awhile. And Cassie had a key, so we just came in," finishes Garfeild.

"And eat all my food," I mumble.

"Hey," pointed out Cassie, "That was Bart all by himself."

I believe her, I fully believe her.

"So where were you two?" asks Bart casually.

I bite my lip trying to think of a good thing to say but I can't think of anything.

"We went to the movies," he says.

"And saw what?" Kyle says in suspicon.

"Er…Hunger Games?"

"Your lying," Cassie says smoothly.

"What?" I say in disbeleif, "How do you know?"

"Three reasons: One, I'm your best friend Amber. Two, I went out with you Timmy dear for over a month. Three, Hunger Games has been out of the theatre for a few months."

"Nice one," I look over sarcastically at Tim.

"So," Cassie says standing up, "Are you going to tell us what you two were doing?"

"You don't have too," says Tim quietly in my ear.

I sigh and look at my friends expectant faces for a few seconds. They weren't just my friends, over the past few months they've became like family. Really close family. When I was younger before I was with my father and in foster care. I'd always wanted brothers and sisters. I did have Artemis and Jade. But Artemis was more like a mother to me, and Jade was like…well Jade. I had foster brothers and sisters too, but most of them hated me. Now it was like I had three brothers and an older sister. Even though Cassie is a month younger than me. She's a lot more mature, and knows a lot…more stuff…than I do. If you know what I mean.

So I decided to tell them.

"You can't tell Artemis," I say quietly.

"Do we look like narks?" Bart says.

I sigh, "I went to prison to see my dad…"

"Are you insane," Cassie asks.

I end up explaining everything from my conversation with the Joker to my breakdown in the morning to me attempting to kill my father. They listen patiently without interruption, surprisingly even Bart. But sometime during my explanation he did steal back the Nutella.

After I'm done I sit down in Wally's big leather chair and put my head in my hands. Just explaining it made me feel overwhelmed and achy.

Someone puts a hand on my shoulder which causes me to look up, "Hey," it's Bart, "WE aren't going to your dad get to you Amber, we're a team. And what happened a few months ago is never happening again. I promise."

I nod a little surprised at Bart's sudden seriousness, but trust me it only last a few seconds.

"I for one," Bart announces, "Am still hungry?"

We all groan, "Chinese food?" Tim suggests.

We agree with Chinese food and end up watching Frozen instead of SAW because Cassie and Kyle can't take it anymore. My sister and Wally end up going out with Dick and Barbra and tell us that they're getting a Hotel in Gotham because they don't want to Zeta Beam drunk. (Last time Wally threw up all over the alley the stench didn't go away for weeks and I have to use that Zetabema on a daily basis.)

I find it humorous that the rest of the group ends up getting permission to stay at the apartment for the night. I guess everyone's guardians have figured out we're not the normalest bunch of teenagers. And we're not stupid with each other either. Not even me and Tim.

**Palo Alto**

**May 6**

**1:03 am**

Everyone's fallen asleep, but I don't really want to sleep because I don't want to wake anyone up with my screaming. I end up starting to clean up the mess we made…well the mess Bart made. When I hear someone's footsteps. I'm in the kitchen right next to the knives and I grab the biggest one a Butcher knive and turn around.

IT's Kyle he makes some kind of noise in the back of his throat and puts his hands up.

"S…sorry," I say putting the knife back, "Never can be too careful."

"I'm not blaming you after…well all you've been through…"

I shrug throwing away an empty box of cherios.

"Why aren't you asleep…" Kyle asks. I raise ane eyebrow, "Shit sorry, forget I asked. I'm a stupid nosy idiot-"

I laugh because he's sort of cute when he's frazzled. Not in a Tim way in more of…a little bunny way. He reminded me of a little kid so innocent.

"It's ok," I say, "I have nightmares, I've been having them since the accident. It's no big deal."

Kyle raises his eyebrows, telling me he knows it's a pretty big deal.

"I use to have nightmares when I was a kid," he says quietly, "When my mom was pregnant with me, my dad left. I never new him. And I use to have dreams that he meets me, than tells me exactly why he left. That he even kept tabs on me for awhile and was thinking about coming back. But he just realized how much of a pathetic loser I was. And never did. I sometimes still have those dreams…"

"Father's aren't all there cut out to me," I say, "And you seem just fine Kyle without your father. Your mom must be one hell of a woman."

"Yeah," Kyle smirks, "She really is, how about your mom."

"My mom?" I shrug, "She's ok, I mean it's not like we don't get along or anything. We just never connected, I lived with Artemis since I've escaped my dad since she'd understand me more than my mom or Jade. Artemis has been more like a mom that me-which is a little weird considering she's only five years older."

Kyle shrugs, "You don't have to agree, but ever since you've told me you drew. I really wanted to see some of my work."

"It's ok," I say, "It's not like I'm hiding it or anything, I just..don't like to draw anymore."

Kyle follows me to my room, we have to step over several limbs on the way but we eventually make it. I step inside and find my drawer which has at least a hundred sketches inside it along with my pencils..

Kyle pulls out a random one in awe, it's one of Tim in his Robin suit.

"I don't even know why I drew that one to be honest, it was when I actually hated Tim. IT's just when I'm drawing…it's like another person but it's still me in a way too…"

Kyle nods with a slight smile, "I understand…Why did you stop?"

I wince and Kyle immediately frowns, "I'm sorry again-that's like the third time-"

"It's fine Kyle," I say, "It's just after what happened I felt like I lost a lot of me. My innocence… I felt like I lost the other person who drew that picture."

"It'd be really great to get that person back, "Kyle looks up and smiles, "I'd really like to meet her."

**Hey! Sorry it's been like what three weeks? I'm not going to lie, life has really been hell. And when I even have had time to update, I've just been too tired. SO call me lazy or whatever. I really hope people have stuck around for this story. Reveiws would mena a lot, I've worked really really hard on this chapter and really hope you enjoy. Virtual cookies to anyone who guesses the amount of times I say really in this A.N.!**


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